Jordan Mallory

Jordan Mallory Feb 14, 2020. 2 minute read

Quantic Dream to Self-Publish, Unleash Full David Cage on the World

Update, 3/8/2022: This article was originally published in February 2020, and has since been updated to reflect actor Elliot Page’s gender identity, who came out as a trans man in December 2020.  There is no one left to tell Quantic Dream “no,” following an announcement made earlier this week that…

Jordan Mallory Feb 13, 2020. Less than a minute

Robert Battinson: A Review

Jordan Mallory Feb 13, 2020. 2 minute read

Welcome Changes Coming to Destiny 2’s Armor 2.0 System

Following a rough couple of weeks for Destiny 2 and its server stability, the folks at Bungie finally have some positive news to announce for its turgid players. Starting next season, Guardians will be able to not only change the Elemental Affinity of a piece of armor, but will also…

Jordan Mallory Feb 12, 2020. 2 minute read

Mass Effect 2 Lead Writer Joins WotC’s New Development Studio

Wizards of the Coast is in the process of staffing up its new Austin-based video game studio, Archetype Entertainment, and as of today it’s secured its second big-name BioWare alumnus for a major position. Drew Karpyshyn, who has major writing credits on such beloved BioWare classics as Mass Effect 2…

Jordan Mallory Feb 11, 2020. 3 minute read

Division 2 Shifts to Seasonal Model With ‘Warlords of New York’ Expansion

Ubisoft and Massive Entertainment’s loot shooter The Division 2 is overhauling its whole deal on March 3, just in time for the game’s first anniversary and the launch of a surprise Manhattan-based expansion, Warlords of New York. As a bid to get people to finally, actually care about The Division…

Jordan Mallory Feb 10, 2020. 2 minute read

You Have Less Than a Month to Prepare for Space Channel 5 VR

The most famous dancer/journalist in the universe is coming to your house, what have you done to get the place (and yourself) ready? Anything? Because it sure doesn’t look like it. Where are you supposed to dance? Where is the sewing station for repairing and buffing the gloss on your…

Jordan Mallory Feb 7, 2020. Less than a minute

The Man-Sized Cage in Our Office: A Review

Jordan Mallory Feb 6, 2020. 3 minute read

Animal Crossing Switch, Outer Worlds Port Delayed by Coronavirus

As hundreds died and thousands more were infected, the coronavirus outbreak took a small detour this week to impact the world of video games. Nintendo has announced that the release of its forthcoming Animal Crossing: New Horizons special edition Switch console will be delayed by an unknown amount, as will…

Jordan Mallory Feb 5, 2020. 2 minute read

Deal With the Devil: Gears Lead Leaves The Coalition to Helm Diablo

In what’s shaping up to be a busy week for executive reshuffling, Gears of War franchise producer Rod Fergusson today announced his departure from The Coalition, the Canadian developer responsible for Gears of War 4 and Gears 5. Fergusson has worked on every Gears game since the series’ inception in…

Jordan Mallory Feb 4, 2020. 2 minute read

Rockstar Games Head Writer and Co-Founder Dan Houser to Bounce

Dan Houser, who founded Rockstar Games with his brother Sam in 1998, will leave the company on March 11, according to an SEC filing submitted today by Rockstar’s parent company, Take-Two Interactive. Houser’s various hats at the company include those of Head Writer, Executive Producer, Vice President of Creative, and,…

Jordan Mallory Feb 3, 2020. 2 minute read

Nintendo, I’m Begging You, Just Let Me Buy the Animal Crossing Joy-Cons

Nintendo recently unveiled an Animal Crossing: New Horizons-themed Nintendo Switch to go along with the game’s impending March 20 release, and chief amongst its incredible qualities are its immaculate, splendid joy-cons. Just look at them. The great impressionists of Normandy could not select a more delicate color pairing. One could…

Jordan Mallory Jan 31, 2020. 2 minute read

Overwatch to Ban Heroes in Way That Totally Doesn’t Count as Hero Bans

Last week Overwatch lead designer Jeff Kaplan laid down the law on the game’s official forums, saying that a conventional “hero ban” system would not solve the problems that Overwatch players often complain of. Hero ban systems, for the uninitiated, allow the players on one team to prevent the players…

Jordan Mallory Jan 29, 2020. 2 minute read

Microsoft Gaming Revenue Down by $905 Million, but It’s Probably Fine

Microsoft today released its regularly-scheduled financial report for the second quarter of fiscal year 2020, which encompasses the three month period ending December 31, 2019, for reasons that no one on this or any other planet can adequately explain. All things considered, Microsoft had a very strong holiday season; it…

Jordan Mallory Jan 28, 2020. 2 minute read

Destiny 2 Goes Dark as Bungie Scrambles to Repair Characters

Destiny 2 has been offline for most of the day, as Bungie rushes to repair inadvertent damage done to an unknown number of accounts by this morning’s 2.7.1 update. According to Bungie, Destiny 2 was taken offline after it was discovered that some players were missing “some of their Glimmer,…

Jordan Mallory Jan 27, 2020. 2 minute read

This Company Is Deadass Going to Build Atari Hotels

As part of its ongoing effort to put its once-meaningful logo on everything in existence, the shambling corpse of Atari today announced that it has licensed the rights for its brand to a group of real estate developers planning to construct as many as eight Atari-themed hotels across these United…

Jordan Mallory Jan 27, 2020. 2 minute read

Torchlight Frontiers Is Now Torchlight 3, No Longer F2P

What was once a free-to-play offshoot of the beloved Torchlight franchise is now its next major installment. According to an announcement trailer released today (and embedded below), Torchlight Frontiers is now Torchlight 3, which is the “spiritual successor” to Torchlight and Torchlight 2, according to series creator Max Schaefer. Gone…

Jordan Mallory Jan 24, 2020. 2 minute read

Activision Blizzard Esports Are Moving to YouTube

Activizion Blizzard has moved all of its official esports properties, including Overwatch League and its various Hearthstone shenanigans, from Twitch to YouTube as part of a newly announced partnership with Google. This means that from now on, thousands of human trash compactors will have to do without their favorite symbols…

Jordan Mallory Jan 23, 2020. 3 minute read

Get Addicted to Real UFO Catchers From the Comfort of Your Own Phone

This is gonna sound like I’m doing a goof, and I get why you might think that, but I promise that I’m being completely sincere right now: Sega Catcher Online could ruin my life. Out today in the United States on Android and iOS, Sega Catcher Online lets you dead-ass…

Jordan Mallory Jan 22, 2020. 2 minute read

What Is Project Xehanort, a Kingdom Hearts ‘Mobile Experience?’

The short answer? Nobody knows. Well, that’s not strictly true. I’m sure there are plenty of people at Square Enix, the developer responsible for the Kingdom Hearts series, who know exactly what Project Xehanort is. But no one in the general public knows yet, and that’s what I’m getting at.…

Jordan Mallory Jan 21, 2020. 2 minute read

Riot Discrimination Settlement Sucks Actually, Says CA State Agencies

Last month, Riot and the lawyers representing the plaintiffs of a class-action gender discrimination lawsuit agreed to settle for $10 million, then said to be the largest gender discrimination payout in California history. The only step remaining in the process was for California’s Supreme Court to approve the settlement agreement,…