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Jordan Mallory

(he/him)

Jordan is a frog that lives in Texas and loves Girls Generation. He's also Senior Podcast Producer! Before that he wrote video game news for almost ten years at a lot of websites you've heard of, including this one.


5 Problems with Live-Action Sonic the Hedgehog

Hooooo boy. Okay, so earlier today IGN premiered the “motion poster” for the live-action Sonic the Hedgehog movie via Instagram, giving the world its first look at Sonic in the new film. Ignoring for a moment that the ring sounds aren’t even right, a handful of other issues are immediately…

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LISTS

Every NES Game I Found at My Parents’ House, Ranked

Above is an image of a box of games for the Nintendo Entertainment System, which are originals from my childhood. I uncovered this box last night, during a visit to my folks’ place for my niece’s seventh birthday. Having reclaimed this relic, it is now my duty as Fanbyte List…

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LISTS

10 Things We’d Love to See in Fortnite Creative Mode

Fortnite‘s new Creative Mode is out now for anyone with a Battle Pass, and after tooling around with it for a couple hours I’m ready to declare that: it’s pretty fun. Put that on the back of the box, Epic. At Epic’s own admission, Creative Mode is in a very…

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LISTS

6 Other Ways This Fallout 76 Thing Could Go Wrong

So today Bethesda accidentally doxxed a bunch of Fallout 76 players by exposing its internal customer support tools to users who submitted help request tickets. This allowed people that submitted tickets — most of which appear to have been related to the nylon collector’s edition bag — to view the…

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Fallout 76 Wave

LISTS

10 Classic PlayStation Games You Should Track Down Right Now

The PlayStation Classic is out, and the general response has been tepid at best. Some folk are upset with its selection of built-in games, as nine of the 20 titles are represented in their European PAL forms, which run at 50 FPS, rather than their NA/JP NTSC forms, which ran…

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PlayStation Classic

LISTS

5 Characters That Aren’t Soulcalibur 6 DLC, but Should Be

It’s been almost two months since Soulcalibur 6 came out. While Nier: Automata‘s 2B has been announced as the game’s first real DLC character — Tira doesn’t count since she was available on day one — a release date for our peerless android heroine is nowhere in sight. So what’s…

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LISTS

Study for Finals with These 5 Game Soundtracks

Students of the world, we support and believe in your endeavors. We trust that you will take this flaming wreckage of a planet and turn it into a place capable of supporting human life, long after our tired souls have left this mortal coil. And by the time you’re done,…

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Nier Automata

LISTS

Every Dark Souls Boss, Ranked By Kissability

There are plenty of guides out there to tell you how to beat the many bosses of Dark Souls in the most efficient way possible, and everybody has an opinion about which one of those fights is the hardest, so we’re not going to bother covering those angles. Instead, let’s…

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LISTS

5 Things to Love About Hearthstone’s Big New Frog

Blizzard has revealed all the cards coming to Hearthstone in its impending, troll-based Rastakhan’s Rumble (sigh) expansion, and inarguably the most important among them is Krag’wa, the Frog. A new legendary Shaman minion, Krag’wa is a beast (both figuratively and literally) that gives you back all of the spells you…

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Krag'Wa The Frog

LISTS

5 Consoles That Deserve the ‘Classic’ Treatment

The world already has the NES and SNES Classics, the Neo Geo X from a few years ago and that new arcade-style Neo Geo Mini, nine different Atari Flashback units, The C64 Mini, and even a handheld that just plays Oregon Trail. With the PlayStation Classic hitting shelves and/or people’s…

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LISTS

Top 5 Game Boy Games I Found While Moving

As part of the jet-setting, thrill-a-minute life of a games journalist, I’ve just moved back in with my parents while I’m between leases. Aside from getting to spend plenty of time with my family during the holidays, I also had the good fortune of finding all my Game Boy stuff…

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LISTS

9 Thanksgiving Leftovers and Their Video Game Equivalents

It was Thanksgiving in the United States of America this week, a holiday where families came together to disagree with each other while perpetuating a lie they don’t know they’ve been told. Also Goku was there! And the food, hot dang! Mama’s twice-baked potatoes, birds stuffed inside of other birds,…

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LISTS

5 Black Friday Deals You Can Safely Ignore

Ah, Black Friday. A day where minimum-wage workers leave their families to clock some mandatory overtime at their second jobs, while perfectly reasonable consumers grow more and more willing to crush the life out of another human being. It’s capitalism working at peak efficiency, and in order to help you…

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LISTS

5 Dragon Ball Z Games That Don’t Exist, But Should

Wherever you look, there is evidence that ours is not the best of all possible realities. Personal helicopters are still a far-off dream. Golf on the moon remains the pastime of an extremely select few. Daddy long-legs exist — the list goes on and on. As a thought exercise, and…

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Dragon Ball Super

LISTS

5 Puzzle Games to Play After Tetris Effect

Everyone seems to be in agreement that Tetris Effect totally rules, with our own review from Jordan Oloman (no relation) calling it “a visual therapy session that will invade your dreams.” The game is, by all accounts, a psychedelic thrill ride for the senses and mind, but where do you…

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Lumines Remastered

LISTS

9 Video Game Frogs Worth Considering

What follows is a list of nine frogs from various video game properties, unrestricted by time, genre, or other arbitrary factors. These are simply nine frogs of exceptional merit, who are worthy of your time and consideration. Of course, all frogs are worthy of your time and consideration. Frogs are…

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Kero Blaster

LISTS