Colette Arrand Dec 13, 2019. 5 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 11: When “fine” is enough
Sometimes a wrestling show is just a wrestling show. Given the need to make everything meaningful and worth the time one is asked to invest in it, it sometimes works to the advantage of a reviewer to find significance where there isn’t any, to make an ordinary night seem like…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Dec 11, 2019. 4 minute read
Katsuyori Shibata Is the Wrestler of the Decade
Let’s start at the end: On April 9, 2017, Katsuyori Shibata wrestled Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Sakura Genesis. He hasn’t wrestled since. After the match, he collapsed backstage and was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent surgery for a subdermal hematoma,…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Dec 6, 2019. 7 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 10: Cults, Cults, and More Cults
Two hours is a long time. I know that the last seven years of three hour Raws and six hour supershows have changed the perception of how time works within the boundaries of a wrestling event, but a lot can happen in 120 minutes, and between NXT and AEW, Wednesday…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Dec 3, 2019. 6 minute read
An Oral History of Dave “The Animal” Batista’s Dick
Wrestling fans are, generally speaking, a thirsty people. The way some of y’all talk about this great sport, this legitimate athletic endeavor where it generally behooves a competitor to be smooth, oily, and muscular, is enough to make a girl blush. While it’s tempting to claim that we’re in the…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 26, 2019. 8 minute read
What the Hell is Happening in Ring of Honor? (Part 2)
Read “What the Hell is Happening in Ring of Honor?” for the first part of this story. Earlier this month, I attempted to untangle a blistering series of tweets by former Ring of Honor producer Joey Mercury, alleging gross incompetence on the part of its general manager, Greg Gilleland, on…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 24, 2019. 7 minute read
NXT WarGames 2019 Recap & Review
I would like to go on the record and state that the WarGames cage match is the best thing that’s ever been invented. Sure, boring people might choose something more practical, like the wheel or electricity or hormone replacement therapy, but look—none of those were invented by Dusty Rhodes. Rather…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 21, 2019. 4 minute read
Ken Burns Presents: A Preview of NXT TakeOver WarGames
Dearest, The cruel month of November has demanded much for those of us on the front lines, and I do not foresee an end to the bloodshed it has caused. Before we embarked on a battle for brand supremacy, our general manager appeared, chanting the word “WARGAMES” like a preacher…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 21, 2019. 8 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week Eight: Non-stop Bangers
Y’all ever stop to think about how good professional wrestling is? I mean, sure it’s a terrible cesspool of weird boomer energy, a medium of entertainment that thrives on manufacturing and disavowing controversy on a minute-to-minute basis, but beyond the crushing despair of constant exposure to the flaws of humanity…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 14, 2019. 8 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 7: The Curse of Full Sail University’s Parking Lot
I have a confession to make. I am one of the mythical lapsed fans AEW is always going on about capturing the attention of. Before the debut of Dynamite (and this column), the last major American wrestling event I watched live was WrestleMania 35. Before that, it was an NXT…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 10, 2019. 8 minute read
Crawling Through Broken Glass: AEW Full Gear Recap and Review
During the build to Full Gear, I started to realize that, some day, All Elite Wrestling will just feel like a regular wrestling promotion. That’s not a knock, just a fact inherent to the goal of making All Elite Wrestling a permanent fixture of the global wrestling landscape. If all…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 7, 2019. 16 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 6: A Dialogue!
This week we decided to experiment with a different format: LB Hunktears and Colette Arrand typing paragraphs at each other in Google Docs. It’s kind of like a podcast, but for your eyes. You could get a computer to read it to you, if you want. We hope you like…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 5, 2019. 8 minute read
What the Hell Is Happening in Ring of Honor?
Ring of Honor, once the promotion whose roster and style set the standard for independent wrestling and, later, brands like WWE’s NXT, has not fared well in the expansion of the wrestling marketplace. Attendance is down, hype is almost non-existent, and one gets the feeling that, were it not for…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Nov 1, 2019. 2 minute read
WWE Strands Roster in Saudi Arabia, Hopes You’ll Enjoy SmackDown
Hours after news broke that WWE talent that worked yesterday’s Crown Jewel event in Riyadh had their flight home delayed, the company has finally acknowledged the situation, stating: More than 175 Superstars, production crew and employees boarded a 747 charter flight back to the United States on Thursday. After the…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 31, 2019. 6 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 5: Asuka & Kairi Beat Rick & Morty Every Time
It’s been a busy week for professional wrestling. As I type this, WWE is cashing a gigantic novelty check written by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, recoiling from a 15% dip in their stock valuation, and doing their level best to spin NXT star Albert “Jordan Myles” Hardie Jr.’s public,…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 29, 2019. 1 minute read
Chris Jericho vs. Cody Will Be Scored By a Panel of Judges
Today, All Elite Wrestling announced a new stipulation to the AEW World Championship match between Chris Jericho and Cody at Full Gear: A panel of three judges will be present to decide the winner should the match go to a 60 minute draw. Here’s how that works, according to the…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 24, 2019. 6 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 4: Finn is mean now :(
We’re roughly a month into the eternal war between WWE NXT and All Elite Wrestling, and something of a familiar pattern has emerged: AEW seems fresh by virtue of being new and different, and NXT is solid because it’s been solid for a very long time. It’s easy to hand…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 20, 2019. 2 minute read
Nothing Can Stop Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt
Back at Hell in a Cell, WWE caused a stir by booking their main event, Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt in the eponymous structure, to end in disqualification. I didn’t watch the match, but to the best of my understanding Rollins buried Wyatt under a bunch of garbage and was…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 16, 2019. 5 minute read
EVOLVE 137 and WWE’s Warehouse of Future Talent
If you’re the kind of person who pays attention to commentary on NXT (which can be hard, I know), you may have noticed last week that the WWE Cruiserweight Championship has become the NXT Cruiserweight Championship. That may scan as a minor difference, but the change, combined with the fact…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 10, 2019. 6 minute read
Wednesday Night War Week 2: AEW sk8s to victory
Last week, FanFyte editor Hunktears declared the first round of the Wednesday Night War a win for both sides, bringing some much-needed objectivity to an argument that is usually pretty pointless. Whether you’re Team NXT or Team AEW or Team How Am I Supposed to Watch Four Hours of Wrestling…
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WRESTLING
Colette Arrand Oct 8, 2019. 2 minute read
Master P Is the New Owner of House of Glory Wrestling
Wrestling: it’s weird! If Hell In a Cell and its fallout (I wasn’t watching live but I hear some stockholders are upset that the spooky clown didn’t win a championship) wasn’t proof enough, think about how the frontman of the Smashing Pumpkins owns the National Wrestling Alliance, a name with…
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WRESTLING