Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand is a minor transsexual poet and nu-metal enthusiast.

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Posts

We Need to Change the Way We Talk About Chris Benoit

Leaving aside the issue of individual taste, the former statement is widely held to be true and the later is established fact. If Chris Benoit was anybody else — if he were half the wrestler ...

Throwback SmackDown Shows that WWE Has Lost Its Grip On Nostalgia

Yesterday was the “Throwback Edition” of WWE SmackDown. Normally, this wouldn’t be something worth writing about, except that the show that normally gets the throwback treatment is Raw, which that has...

What Messages Do CM Punk's Shoes Hold For Us This Week?

Last week, FanFyte’s Emily Pratt reported on a largely unnoticed bit of one of the most watched, most analyzed pieces of professional wrestling in recent memory: The fact that Punk had written two...

Interview: Atsushi Onita Still Believes In the Power of Pro Wrestling

[Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.]

Remembering Brodie Lee

Jon Huber, known in wrestling as Brodie Lee and Luke Harper, passed away suddenly on December 26, from non-COVID related lung issues. He was 41. In a year rife with shock and tragedy within the wrestl...

On Deplatforming Wrestlers

Update as of 7/14/20: This morning, Shlak posted a video addressing this history and GCW announced that members of hate groups are unwelcome at their events. 

The Undertaker Sucked

I’m late to the funeral, but the 2020 Survivor Series is in the books, and with it, for now, the career of The Undertaker. On one hand, WWE’s ceremony was befitting of the man’s legacy—not only di...

Eddie Guerrero's Mullet: A Review

I love a good mullet. I love bad mullets and mediocre mullets, too—really the mullet spectrum runs from “person who gives no fucks to a degree that scares me” to “person who gives no fucks and is real...

Every Member of the nWo, Ranked

The new World order are going into the WWE Hall of Fame this year, and while the company is limiting the group to its three founding members, I’d like to believe that the lack of a physical building f...

Wednesday Night War Week 6: A Dialogue!

This week we decided to experiment with a different format: LB Hunktears and Colette Arrand typing paragraphs at each other in Google Docs. It’s kind of like a podcast, but for your eyes. You coul...

A Pilgrimage to Scott Steiner's Shoney's

Four years ago, my favorite wrestler purchased a dilapidated Shoney’s in Acworth, Georgia (across from the Cabela’s). It was such a notable event in Shoney’s history that the restaurant chain posted a...

An Oral History of Dave "The Animal" Batista's Dick

Wrestling fans are, generally speaking, a thirsty people. The way some of y’all talk about this great sport, this legitimate athletic endeavor where it generally behooves a competitor to be smooth, oi...

Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" Is Wrestling's Greatest Theme Song

Among other things, last week marked the 50th anniversary of the release of Paranoid, Black Sabbath’s second album of environmentally conscious, doom-laden Christian metal. Unquestionably the...

Actually, Wrestling Is the Last Thing We Need Right Now

At the risk of repeating myself, it is insane that there is still professional wrestling on television right now. It is irresponsible that there is still professional wrestling on television right...

A Brief History of Creeps In Professional Wrestling

[Content Warning on this piece for discussion of sexual violence and trauma.]

CM Punk and Sting's Facepaint: A Review

Last night, Sting wrestled in the Greensboro Coliseum, the venue in which his superstardom was launched due to his Clash of the Champions match against “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. AEW has done a good job ...

Eleven Years Ago Today, John Cena Announced the Death of Osama bin Laden

May 1, 2011 was a day like any other in WWE history, a pay-per-view in Tampa Bay, Florida whose content, unless you’re a true weirdo, I can’t imagine you’d remember. Highlights from Extreme Rules 2011...

Nothing Can Stop Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt

Back at Hell in a Cell, WWE caused a stir by booking their main event, Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt in the eponymous structure, to end in disqualification. I didn’t watch the match, but to the best...

Master P Is the New Owner of House of Glory Wrestling

Wrestling: it’s weird! If Hell In a Cell and its fallout (I wasn’t watching live but I hear some stockholders are upset that the spooky clown didn’t win a championship) wasn’t proof enough, think ...